<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>A Light To The Dark by Anomalous_Duck</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22368022">A Light To The Dark</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anomalous_Duck/pseuds/Anomalous_Duck'>Anomalous_Duck</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Darkiplier - Fandom, Markiplier Egos, Soft Dark - Fandom, Soft Darkiplier - Fandom, Who Killed Markiplier, markiplier - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Heartbreak, Lemon, Loss, Mild Language, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Sex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 11:55:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>15,929</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22368022</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anomalous_Duck/pseuds/Anomalous_Duck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Darkiplier and Female Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Light To The Dark</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Walking through the door, I threw my bag on the table and sighed heavily, resting my hands on the edge, knuckles white from frustration.<br/>
“Everything ok?” Damien’s gentle voice drifted in from the other room.<br/>
“No it fucking isn’t. I’m done.” I started unbuttoning my uniform as I stormed into his office, fingers shaking.<br/>
Damien looked up as I entered, face softening with understanding.<br/>
The late evening sun cast a yellowish glow across his desk and onto the floor, glinting off his slicked back black hair and making his eyes seem to be an even deeper shade of chocolate brown. His suit jacket was off, leaving him in only his white button up and dark slacks. Any other time I’d have been overtaken by how gorgeous he looked but I was too pissed to focus on anything but my day and the disappointment I felt over it.<br/>
“Here. Let me.” He said with a smile.<br/>
Walking over to me, he gently moved my trembling hands, whispering a kiss across my fingers as he did so.<br/>
Despite my mood, I almost smiled.<br/>
Damien focused in on each button, pulling the tails of my shirt out from beneath my belt and slipping it off my shoulders, down to my white tee shirt.<br/>
“You want to talk about it?” He asked, resting his forehead against mine. “You don’t have to, if you don’t want to.”<br/>
I sighed again.<br/>
“I keep screwing up.” My voice trembled, tears threatening the back of my eyes. “I’m the lowest ranking rookie in the precinct and the way things are looking, that’s not gonna change.”<br/>
Damien chuckled, planting a soft kiss on my nose. “You’ll show them all, my darling. While the leaders falter from hubris, the true heroes shall rise from humble beginnings.”<br/>
I quirked an eyebrow. “You make it sound so romantic that I suck.”<br/>
Another chuckle. “It all depends on how you choose to view it, my love. Life is ours to choose after all and that includes how we choose to accept what is fact.”<br/>
I stepped back, something like shame making me turn away from him. “But I’m not getting any better. I pass one test only to fail two others. I couldn’t shoot the broad side of a barn, my training officer’s words by the way, and I locked myself out of my own locker today. How pathetic is that?”<br/>
Damien stepped behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist, his warm breath brushing my neck. I shivered despite the warmth in the room.<br/>
“You’re letting your emotions run you. Relax and you’ll find your path.”<br/>
“The only path I’m sure of is the path home. Here. To you.”<br/>
He kissed my neck, his lips pressing against the soft skin at my hairline. “Then take that same feeling of home and apply it at work. You’ll ace every test.”<br/>
“Easy for you to say, Mr. Mayor.” I smiled, enjoying the attention and distraction.<br/>
He kissed my ear and turned me to face him. Brushing an escaped tear from my face with his thumb, he smiled.<br/>
That damn smile could fix anything.<br/>
“It is easy for me to say because I know you, I believe in you and I love you.”<br/>
“Does the Mayor really want to love the dip shit rookie cop that can’t remember her own combination? That’s not exactly the police force image you want to promote for your city.”<br/>
“I’ve loved you since long before you applied at the academy and I’ll love you long afterwards. But give yourself time, my love. It’s only your second week.”<br/>
He pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head. “You’re going to be the best Detective on the force. Trust me.<br/>
I read people everyday and you, my darling, are like an open book. You’ll soar above your low expectations and show them all wrong, including yourself.”<br/>
I looked up at him, pulling back enough to lock my eyes with his. Staring into them made me feel like I was safe and not the screwup I thought I was.<br/>
“What?” He chuckled.<br/>
I shook my head. “Nothing. I just love you, that’s all.”<br/>
Running my fingers over his jawline and down his neck, I unbuttoned the collar of his shirt.<br/>
“There. Much better.”<br/>
Damien looked down and smiled. “You want me looking like some ruffian?”<br/>
“Mmm” I purred. “It makes you look less stiff. More relaxed and much, much hotter.” I smiled playfully.<br/>
“Does it now? I take it I eased your mind concerning your misgivings at the academy?”<br/>
My hands rested on his chest, gently tracing circles over his shirt with one finger. “No. I still have my doubts that I’ll ever be as good as you’d like to believe, but I have other things to think about right now.”<br/>
Another smile from him. “I unfortunately have papers waiting on the desk that demand my attention.”<br/>
I slowly undid another button.<br/>
“And I have a traffic regulation test to study for but right now, I’m demanding your attention. Do you think you can handle that, Mr. Mayor?”<br/>
He tilted my chin up and leaned in, kissing me slowly at first and then more passionately as he felt me give in.<br/>
My hands instinctively found their way upwards until I was cupping his face, begging him to be closer to me. Wanting more.<br/>
Damien’s hands slid down my sides, teasingly brushing over my breasts, seeking my gear belt and unbuckling it. It hit the floor with a thud but we ignored it.<br/>
I felt him smile against my lips as I moved my own hands down, undoing the last of the buttons holding his dress shirt closed and then lower, to find the button on his waistband.<br/>
My fingers itched to do more, go lower and yet I held back, wanting to play with him a little, but he pulled out of the kiss suddenly, leaving me breathless, a sexy, sly look in his eyes.<br/>
“What? What is it?” I asked, worried I had done something wrong.<br/>
“I don’t think my work is going to stop calling to me.” He replied casually, glancing at his desk and taking a step towards it.<br/>
Catching on to his little game, I raised an eyebrow. “Oh isn’t it?”<br/>
Damien looked back at me, untucking his shirt as he did so, completely revealing his bare chest.<br/>
“I can’t ignore it, my love. I’ve got a hard…” he cleared his throat. “Deadline, to meet.” He winked, taking a seat and pulling out a folder and pen.<br/>
“Ah.” I said. “And is this “work” anything I can help with?”<br/>
I reached up, letting my hair fall out of its ponytail as I walked over to his desk and picked up the folder he was pretending to pour over.<br/>
“Thoughts?” He smirked.<br/>
“Complete waste of time.” I said seductively, pretending to flip through the papers. “How about we come up with another plan to discuss. Something that requires a little more of a team effort?”<br/>
He leaned back in his chair, arms crossed. “Convince me.”<br/>
I tossed the folder, pulling my t-shirt off as I straddled him. “I’ve got a couple powerhouse ideas I think you’ll enjoy seeing.”<br/>
I reached behind me, undoing my bra and letting it fall, making sure I moved against him and his desire, making him groan as his eyes ran over every inch of skin he could see, the brown in them appearing darker than normal.<br/>
“I have to ask,” His voice was deep. “Do these ideas benefit the city in any way?”<br/>
I slipped his shirt off his shoulders as I leaned in, kissing his neck and sliding my tongue over his chest. “Not in the least.”<br/>
“And do they benefit me?” He whispered.<br/>
“100%” I replied, licking his ear and feeling him move instinctively beneath me.<br/>
I threw my head back as Damien pressed his lips to my chest, biting and sucking playfully. “And how much will this deal cost me?” He asked between kisses.<br/>
I stood, unfastening the button of my slacks. “I think you’ll find it to be a valuable investment. When I’m done with my presentation, you’ll want to go all in, trust me.”<br/>
A low chuckle. “I’m not that kind of businessman, darling. I don’t hop into bed with every good idea that comes along.”<br/>
He leaned forward, hands on my hips as he stared up at me and kissed my stomach, his tongue running over my belly button, making me groan and my back arch. Damn him.<br/>
“And my business partner seems more than a little distracted.” He smirked.<br/>
I ran my finger over his bottom lip, stopping him from saying anything else as I let my pants fall to the floor. I shoved him back against the chair and retook my position on his lap.<br/>
“Oh Damien, I’m the worst kind of idea and far beyond the realm of distracted and besides,” I purred as I kissed him deeply. “Who said anything about the bed?”</p>
<p>                            **************</p>
<p>3 months later </p>
<p>Opening the door, I stepped through, tossing my bag on the table and kicking off my shoes. My whole body ached but I was slowly making progress at the academy and I had made it through the last few months with only one more locker lockout under my belt. My TO had complimented me today on my improved usage of my sidearm and three other rookies had decided I wasn’t as dumb as they first perceived and had actually talked with me at length about how their own training was going.<br/>
My life felt at last like it was coming back from the tailspin it had been in and was finally settling into some sort of awkward normal.<br/>
“Damien?” I called out. “Babe? You home?”<br/>
“In here.” Came the soft reply.<br/>
I padded into the office, peeling my socks off and unbuttoning my shirt as I went.<br/>
Damien was sitting at his desk, arms crossed over his chest, again only in his shirt and slacks, staring out the window at the dappled yellow evening. His face was drawn, worry like I’d never seen on him darkened his features and made him look older. His body language radiated concern.<br/>
I frowned. “Damien? What’s wrong?”<br/>
“How did training go?” He asked, evading my question but not looking at me.<br/>
“I uh, it was fine. Damien? You’re scaring me. Has something happened?”<br/>
“I heard you did well at the shooting range today. I’m proud of you.” He half smiled, staring down at his hand and a piece of paper I couldn’t see well enough to make out.<br/>
I walked up beside him, laying my hand on his arm. He jumped as if I had scared him out of whatever place his mind was in.<br/>
“What is that?” I pointed to the paper, which upon closer inspection appeared to be a card of some sort, embossed delicately with gold foil and flowing script.<br/>
It was nothing new for him to receive multiple cards and invitations every week so why did this one have him so rattled?<br/>
He looked up at me finally, his eyes distant and clearly not in the here and now. “Nothing you need concern yourself with, darling.”<br/>
“Bull crap! It’s clearly bothering you, so I need to know. What is that?”<br/>
He sighed. “I’ve been…invited.” His words were halting.<br/>
“Ok? Where? What’s the big deal?”<br/>
Damien stood, laying the invitation on his desk and taking my hands in his. He kept his head bowed, staring at them as if they were his only link to sanity.<br/>
“To an old friend’s.” He whispered. “A… mansion. On the outskirts of the city.”<br/>
My heart rate jumped up. He actually sounded scared.<br/>
“A friend? Is he a classmate or what? You’ve never spoken to me about anyone from your past. Damien…” I wrapped my arms around him and he buried his face in my hair, pulling me closer to him.<br/>
“I don’t want to go, my love. But I don’t know how to say no.” His voice trembled.<br/>
“You decline, Damien! You’re the Mayor, you have other engagements to attend.”<br/>
“It’s not that simple.”<br/>
“Make it that simple. You’re one of the most powerful and influential people in this god damn city and you’re trembling, trembling as I’m standing here holding you. What the hell is going on and who exactly has made you act this way?”<br/>
He cupped my face in his hands and looked at me with something like sympathy. “It’s a long story and not one I think you’d care to listen to.”<br/>
“If it’s making you act this way, I want to know. I deserve to know.”<br/>
“You have enough on your plate, my love.”<br/>
I laid my hands on his and squeezed. “My plate can hold a few more teaspoons. Tell me anyway.”<br/>
Damien almost smiled. “Your bullheadedness is why I love you, you know that?”<br/>
“You’re really one to talk.” I parried. “Whose mansion are we going to?”<br/>
He pulled back, fear crossing his features. “No.”<br/>
I blinked. “Excuse me?”<br/>
“You’re not going anywhere near anything to do with this. The invite is for me and me alone. I’m sorry.”<br/>
The fear and anguish in his face was the only thing that stopped me from losing my temper completely, my instincts telling me not to let him go through with it.<br/>
“Damien…”<br/>
He turned away from me, facing the window, his shoulders stiff and fists clenched.<br/>
I reached forward, laying my hands on his back and resting my head against his shoulder blade. I felt him relax, if only slightly.<br/>
“The man who invited me is an old friend.”Damien said quietly. “His name is Mark and we grew up together. He, myself and our best friend William were thick as thieves, but… life got in the way.”<br/>
I waited. Knowing he would continue without my persuasion.<br/>
“Mark fell in love with and wedded my sister…”<br/>
“Celine?” I said, shocked. “Why didn’t you tell me she was married?”<br/>
“You barely know her,” Damien admitted. “It never came up and besides, they’re no longer together.”<br/>
“What happened?”<br/>
“They were never a good pairing, at least in my opinion they weren’t. Mark was too self obsessed and power hungry and my sister too head strong to ever admit she’d made a mistake. So rather than divorce as would have been acceptable, they stayed together. Until the affair…”<br/>
My head spun from the sudden influx of information. “Wait. He cheated on her?”<br/>
Damien shook his head. “Far from it. She cheated on him. With William.”<br/>
“Oh my god, Damien…”<br/>
“When Mark found out, things quickly spiraled and they divorced, but Mark was never the same, nor were the relationships between the three of us and my sister. Irrevocable damage had been done and Mark and I haven’t spoken since. I’ve only heard from William once and that’s been years ago now and Celine and I are hardly close.”<br/>
He laughed dryly. “But to be fair, we never were beforehand. My “older” sister.” He snorted. “By mere minutes and she thought she owned me all our growing up.”<br/>
He turned to face me again. “Last I heard, Mark had become even more obsessive and manic than usual and practically forced everyone he knew to cut ties with him. His house is the mansion I mentioned previously and as far as I know, the only people in his life are the ones he pays to be there, like his staff and various servants.”<br/>
I looked up into his eyes, seeing my doubt and confusion reflected back at me. “Why is he contacting you now? And what exactly is he inviting you to do?”<br/>
“A poker game or so the invite says. I don’t know why he’s decided that now is the time to re-establish old ties and I can only assume that I’m not the only one he’s reached out to. William will most certainly have received an invite as well, but I can hardly imagine Mark to ask my sister. But on the other hand, he never does anything like I expect him to.”<br/>
I took his hands in mine. “Damien, I need you to be honest with me… if you’re old friends, even putting aside what happened with Celine, why does the thought of going have you so scared?”<br/>
Damien turned, picking up the invitation off his desk and holding it up. “Because Mark is far from what I would call stable. He’s always been a showman, he doesn’t do anything if it doesn’t offer some sort of gratification for him and this is just another stunt in a long line of showing off. This poker game is just another way to put the spotlight on him. He’s up to something and I have the worst feeling it’s going to change everything.”<br/>
I swallowed the growing lump in my throat and shook my head. “Is he dangerous?”<br/>
Damien scoffed. “Yes and no. He has a violent temper and he’s become a drunk after the events with Celine. He always did have a skewed sense of humor, taking things too far for the sake of a joke if he thought it was amusing. He’s been sequestered away in that house for far too long with nothing to occupy his mind except what was done to him by the two people he cared deeply for. This whole thing reeks of revenge but I can’t see clearly what he might have planned.”<br/>
“But you’re innocent in the whole thing! Why would he want revenge on you?”<br/>
“Because Celine is my sister and William, my friend. Mark blames me for not stopping it.”<br/>
“Then you don’t go. There’s nothing holding you to it, is there? You’re a busy man, anything could keep you from going.” I was practically begging, but Damien looked guilty. “Unfortunately, I have no choice. Mark was smart about this whole thing. He sent an invite to my new DA several days before mine. They saw it only as a stunt with one of the biggest public figures in the area, not knowing my ties to the host and accepted. If my new associate attends and I do not, it looks bad for both of us. I’m obligated, my love. I’m sorry.”<br/>
I jerked away from him, storming across the room with my arms wrapped around myself, tears beginning to run down my cheeks. “Damn it, Damien!! Screw appearances for once! What about me? This whole thing feels wrong and I’m not even involved in it!”<br/>
I heard his soft footsteps behind me as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders, pulling me against his chest in a tight embrace.<br/>
“I’m scared too, my darling. Believe me.”<br/>
Part of me wanted to pull away from him but I didn’t, I leaned back into his arms, wiping tears away.<br/>
“Please. Damien… don’t go.”<br/>
He kissed my ear, his breath warm. “How about I make you a guarantee? A promise of sorts that everything will be just fine?”<br/>
“How are you gonna do that?” I sniffled.<br/>
Damien stepped in front of me and smiled. “I’ve been planning this for awhile and I was going to wait until you graduated academy, but it seems now is a better suited time.”<br/>
He reached into his pocket and brought out a box, going down on one knee and looking up, tears in his eyes.<br/>
I shook my head. Overwhelming feelings of fear and excitement and love crashing into me. “Damien…”<br/>
“I’ve loved you since I first saw you, my darling. You’re my only beacon when I’m lost in the dark and I want this ring to be our guiding light.”<br/>
“Damien, please…”<br/>
“I’m going to ask you something, but I don’t want you to answer right now. I want this ring to be a temporary promise ring. A promise that everything is going to be just fine. I want you to answer me when I walk back through that door after this whole thing is over…” he laughed through his tears, “and I’m hoping the answer will be yes.”<br/>
Opening the box, Damien lifted it for me to see and smiled. “Will you marry me?”<br/>
I dropped to my knees, cupping his face in my hands and kissing him deeply. I knew he didn’t want me to speak what I was feeling, but I could only hope that one kiss could convey my answer in some other way.<br/>
We pulled apart and I wiped a tear away from his cheek with the pad of my thumb as he took the ring out of the box with shaking hands.<br/>
“Remember, darling. It’s only a promise ring, nothing more, until my return. I’m holding you to that “yes” and you don’t give it to me until we know everything is just fine, okay?”<br/>
“Okay.” I nodded, as he slipped the ring on my left hand. “But I’m holding you to that promise. You be safe, you watch your back and you come home to me, you understand?”<br/>
He pushed a stray lock of hair away from my face, brushing his lips with mine and smiling.<br/>
“Life is ours to choose, my love and I’m choosing to share mine with you. Everything is going to be just fine, I promise you that.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>*********<br/>The dappled yellow light of evening glinted off the ring on my left hand as I reached for the door handle in front of me.<br/>Slipping my sidearm out of its holster, I eased the door open as quietly as I could.<br/>There had been reports of a violent disturbance in this building and I had been the closest officer to respond, regardless of my detective status.<br/>“This is the police.” I called into the darkness.<br/>No answer. No noise.<br/>Flicking my flashlight on, I held it hand over hand with my pistol, pushing the door open with my foot and sneaking a glance into the gloom.<br/>Boxes and debris littered the floor of the empty building, dust and particles drifting causally by from my sudden movement with the door but no signs of life met my flashlight beam.<br/>I stepped into the room, methodically checking each corner and behind every potential hiding place.<br/>Scuff marks indicated someone had recently been through here and I followed the trail, clearing each room as I went, the darkness deepening as I went further from the door.<br/>I flattened myself against the wall as the hallway reached a crossroads. Taking a deep breath, I pointed both gun and light down the right hand path, only to have them both jerked from my hands. They skittered across the floor, the flashlight flickering against the far wall, it’s battery seemingly drained.<br/>A high pitched ringing echoed through the building, the volume almost deafening to my ears but I ignored it.<br/>Instinctively I raised my arm to parry an incoming attack, but I was too slow. Cold arms of steel wrapped around my torso and neck, a hand covering my mouth and nose, squeezing until I felt my ribs ache.<br/>Struggling, I let five years of training take over as I ran through every defense class I’d ever taken but nothing seemed to work. My attacker held me in place with almost supernatural strength, until I was thrown against the wall, dazed from the impact and breathless from his grip.<br/>I choked in a breath, but his hand was at my throat, lifting me off the ground.<br/>I flailed wildly, panic setting in despite my better judgment as my attacker squeezed harder. Specks of light danced in front of my eyes in the darkness, the figure’s face inches from my own.<br/>Maybe it was the lighting or my oxygen deprived mind, but I could have sworn there was an aura surrounding him, flickering blue, then red and back again.<br/>The ringing was pulsing now, like it was waxing and waning in strength as he held me.<br/>My detective side leapt to the surface as I fought and I noticed that, as strong as he was, his hand was shaking and his breathing was labored.<br/>“You shouldn’t have responded to this call,” my assailant growled. His voice was deep, echoing. It vibrated off the walls and paired with the ringing in a weird harmony, but it was forced. Like he was in pain.<br/>A violent disturbance<br/>My brain kicked into overdrive.<br/>He was injured.<br/>Praying for a lucky shot, I used what little strength I had left to turn my body just enough to bring a knee up and catch him in the groin.<br/>His grip on me slackened as he grunted in pain and I dove for my gun, doing a neat tuck and roll, coming up with my pistol in one hand and failing flashlight in the other.<br/>I whirled back to face him, ready for an attack but what I saw made my blood run cold.<br/>He had slid down to the floor, leaning against the wall for support as he gripped his side, hand bloody from what appeared to be a substantial wound. His breathing was ragged as he winced, staring up at me.<br/>I nearly let my gun drop in shock.<br/>His eyes were darker, not warm and loving like they once were, rimmed with black, they stared at me with barely contained rage.<br/>His hair was drastically different, not slicked back, a more modern style, cut close on the sides, longer on top and brushed to one side where it was hanging in his face.<br/>The suit he wore was torn and covered in blood, far from the elegant tuxes and button ups I’d always admired, but still somehow commanding on his form.<br/>In this light it was hard to tell, but his skin seemed gray, possibly from blood loss or some other illness.<br/>Fear and disbelief made my hand tremble and he laughed, choking on blood. “Go on and fire, if you think you can. Something tells me you won’t.”<br/>A tear slid down my cheek.<br/>5 years. 5 years since that night in the mansion, no suspects, no clues. No justification for his disappearance.<br/>I had mourned him.<br/>I had missed him.<br/>Crying myself to sleep, alone, each and every night, wondering what had happened.<br/>I never took his ring off. It had never felt right to do so. Some childish part of me had believed that if I kept it on, he’d come back. Back to me and the “yes”  I never got to say.<br/>“Damien?” I whispered it almost to myself. A name once so familiar, now foreign and strange on my tongue. My chest felt tight. My heart hurting too bad to remember how to beat correctly.<br/>“Get it… over with.” He was getting weaker and I had to make a decision.<br/>“You don’t know me, do you?”<br/>My moment of inactivity annoyed him and he struggled to stand. “I don’t… have time… for this.”<br/>The ringing reached a fever pitch as his legs buckled and he went down hard, too weak to stand and gasping in ragged breaths.<br/>Before I knew what I was doing, I had holstered  my gun and crawled to his side, terrified to touch him, scared that it was all in my head and he’d disappear out of my life again.<br/>Putting my light in my mouth and pressing my hands to the wound in his side, he grunted, barely conscious as I pulled back his jacket to see a large gash in his shirt. A stab wound.<br/>His eyes were glassy, his chest hardly moving.<br/>He had tried to kill me. Why was I helping him?<br/>I fought back a sob as more tears came, running down my cheeks and dripping onto his jacket.<br/>After they had told me what had happened, I had poured myself deeper and deeper into police work, finishing academy top of my class and soaring past my fellow rookies.<br/>I had gone home each night for months to an empty house, turned on every light and collapsed on the floor, too heartbroken and alone to carry myself to bed.<br/>I rose through the force at breakneck speed, reaching the rank of detective in just a matter of years, all to keep my mind busy and away from my past.<br/>The past, back from the dead, lying here in front of me.<br/>“Leave…. It…” he whispered. “It…will heal… just… time..”<br/>Clearly he was delusional.<br/>I couldn’t call this in. Not with the circumstances being what they were and the current state of my emotions.<br/>I could probably stitch up the wound, buy him some time, but I’d have to get him out of here first and did I really want to do that?<br/>Life is ours to choose, my love<br/>Making my decision, I took the flashlight out of my mouth. “If I help you, can you stand?<br/>A raspy chuckle. “You don’t… want…” he coughed. “To go down that rabbit… hole.”<br/>“D…” I caught myself before saying his name. “I have to help you. Let me.”<br/>Another chuckle. “As you wish.”<br/>He seemed too tired to care anymore as I awkwardly positioned myself to try to help him stand, barely supporting his weight as he slid himself up the wall and leaned on me heavily.<br/>His skin was cold. It felt lifeless, like he had already lost the battle with death.<br/>“Can you walk?” I grunted.<br/>He nodded. “I’m not…” another ragged cough. “Usually one to show so much… weakness.”<br/>He showed no signs of recognition towards me and my heart shattered a little more.<br/>Whatever had happened, wherever he had been, I had a sinking feeling that he wasn’t my Damien anymore.<br/>We stumbled our way to the exit, out into the semi dusk of evening and over to my unmarked car.<br/>“Just a little further. Let me get the door open.”<br/>I reached my hand out, pulling on the back door .<br/>He collapsed into my car and out of the darkness of the building, my heart stopped.<br/>Whoever this was, whatever he was, was not human. He bore Damien’s features, his likeness almost perfectly, but it wasn’t him anymore.<br/>Fear took hold and I debated what I should do now.<br/>Letting my professionalism take over, I put my emotions out of the way and rested my hand on my sidearm.<br/>“Who the hell are you?”<br/>A quick feral smile in the twilight. “No one you want to know.”<br/>“Let me judge that. I want to try to help you but…”<br/>“I wouldn’t.”<br/>“Why?”<br/>He tried to sit up straight but winced, sucking a breath in through his teeth. “Because I’m your… ah… worst dreams put together. Your… greatest…. fears.”<br/>His words were slurring as he grew weaker. I had to get him help.<br/>“Why though?” I thought to myself. “You don’t even know him anymore. He tried to kill you.”<br/>As hard as it was, I forced out the proper and acceptable answer that had been drilled into me. “Helping people is my job. I’m not just going to leave you to die.”<br/>Closing the back door and opening my own, I slid into the drivers seat. Looking in the mirror, I choked back my tears. “Do you recognize me?”<br/>He shook his head, his consciousness fading.<br/>I wanted to respond but found I couldn’t past the lump in my throat.<br/>Turning the ignition, I reported in over the radio  that the lead had been false and nothing out of the ordinary had been found. I quickly drove us to the only place I knew I could go where he would be safe.<br/>My apartment, formerly ours.</p>
<p>Somehow, the ringing noise that I had thought to be associated with the building we were in had followed me home, leading me to believe that it was somehow tied to the man I was now helping and half dragging up the stairs.<br/>
A fact that didn’t help my peace of mind over what I was doing.<br/>
Being this close to him as we made our way up the stairs, under the bright glow of electric lights, I got my first real look at who I was helping and my blood ran cold.<br/>
His skin was definitely gray and not just from blood loss. It was void of color, cold to my touch where there wasn’t clothing between us.<br/>
The red and blue were weaker now, but still flickering around his skin and he seemed to be… glitching. That was the only word I had for it. I chalked it up to my overstressed and tired mind as I stopped at the door and dug for my keys.<br/>
“Can you stand a second?” I asked.<br/>
“You’re making a mistake.” He growled, but reached out, leaning on the wall as I pulled out the keys and opened the door.<br/>
“Yeah I most certainly think I am.” I agreed. Turning back, I looked him straight in the face. Old feelings and memories I’d long since put aside washed over me. I still loved him. Even as the broken man standing in front of me.<br/>
I fought to keep my voice semi stable. “5 years. 5 years and no word from you. And now you don’t even show that you know me? I thought you were dead, god damn it, Damien!”<br/>
My burst of anger had some effect on him, he was glaring at me, his face a mask of rage and emotion. “Don’t you ever call me by that name again! You don’t know me! You don’t want to know me!”<br/>
He was screaming, his voice echoing and ringing so loudly that I was surprised the neighbors hadn’t all thrown open their doors, demanding silence.<br/>
He towered over me, some last burst of strength letting him stand without support. He cracked his neck and took a step towards me.<br/>
I reached for my pistol but found only an empty holster.<br/>
He smiled. “Looking for this?”<br/>
My gun hung in midair between us, the clip next to it. I made a grab for it, but it disappeared.<br/>
“Ah ah ah, not for you. I’m over your little games. You’re not the first Detective I’ve had to deal with and you won’t be the last.”<br/>
As terrifying as he seemed, I knew he was still injured and some part of me felt that he didn’t want to hurt me and this was all an act. My mayor was still in there somewhere. I just had to find him.<br/>
Putting my hands up, I backed a step away. “I just wanted to get you some help and maybe get myself some answers. You’re bleeding. Let me help you.”<br/>
He clutched his side, still in pain despite his anger.<br/>
All I wanted was closure. I deserved that much, didn’t I? But I had to keep him alive to pry it out of him.<br/>
“Ok.” I said calmly. “We’re gonna try this again. What can I call you?”<br/>
He smirked and his voice was calmer, not echoing around the room. “Did your… parents ever teach you… to not…” he groaned, stumbling back towards the wall. “Be afraid of… the Dark?”<br/>
I frowned. “I suppose so. Yes….”<br/>
“They were wrong. Because you should be terrified of it.”<br/>
“But the lights are on…”<br/>
With that, every light in the building proceeded to wink out, leaving us in pitch blackness.<br/>
“Are they now?” He mocked.<br/>
I was shoved backwards into the room, the door slamming shut. Pinned to the wall, I couldn’t move, my feet dangling as I tried to struggle against the force holding me.<br/>
Feeling like I was being crushed, the weight on my chest and throat were unbearable and I couldn’t see or hear anything except the crescendo of ringing, louder than ever before.<br/>
I panicked, trying to scream but nothing came out, or maybe I just couldn’t hear it?<br/>
My arms reached out, trying to swing, hoping to connect with something, but I felt his hand grab my wrist, cold and rough.<br/>
My mind went blank from lack of oxygen, my body limp, my eyes drifting shut as he held my hand, almost tenderly.<br/>
The ringing suddenly subsided, not quite stopping altogether and the lights flared back on. The pressure on my throat and abdomen disappeared as I slid to the floor, his hand still gripping mine while I coughed, sucking in lungfuls of air, my body aching from the impact with the wall.<br/>
He was staring at my hand. His face masked with the most emotion I’d seen from him so far.<br/>
He looked like he was in pain and not just from his injuries, his dark eyes were sad, no trace of the anger I’d just witnessed from him.<br/>
He dropped to his knees, cradling my hand in both of his, breathing heavily.<br/>
“What have I done?” He whispered.<br/>
My mind was still fuzzy, I wanted my hand back, so I jerked it away from him, daring him to reach for it. The methodical side of my brain said not to trust him but the illogical side, the side that had once loved him as Damien wanted so badly to try again.<br/>
He looked up at me and the look on his face almost broke me. He looked so scared, so lost.<br/>
“Please,” his voice was ragged. “I’m so sorry.”His hand was still reaching for mine, suspended where I had left it when I pulled away.<br/>
“Please.” He repeated. “Don’t leave me. Can I see your hand?”<br/>
Against my better judgment, I slowly laid my hand back in his and watched as he ran his thumb over my engagement ring, face lined with pain.<br/>
“You kept it?”<br/>
He looked up at me and his eyes weren’t the hard dark anymore, but warm, chocolate brown, still lined with black, but more human. More Damien.<br/>
Scared after his reaction from earlier, I leaned forward, “Then you are…? You’re Damien?”<br/>
He shook his head. “Not anymore, my love. Not in a very long time.”<br/>
My breathing hitched.<br/>
“But you look…? You’re him.”<br/>
He wrapped my hand in both of his and brought it up to his face as if to kiss it, resting his forehead on my fingers.<br/>
“I am not the man you loved.”<br/>
“What the hell does that mean?”<br/>
“Did you not see? Did you not experience what I can do? I’m not your Damien anymore. Damien’s dead.”<br/>
A single tear slid down his cheek as he looked up, locking eyes with me.<br/>
I sobbed. “But you’re right here. I can see you. I can touch you.”<br/>
I reached up with my right hand, tentatively touching his face and he closed his eyes. “Damien died that night five years ago. What I am is only a shell. An empty copy, bent on revenge. Incapable of human emotions, incapable of pity, incapable of…” he paused, opening his eyes and looking down at the ring. “Love.”<br/>
“That’s not true.” I whispered. “You’re crying. You’re hurting. You’re still something more than that thing that tried to hurt me.”<br/>
“I am that thing!” He roared. “Can’t you see that? Can’t you understand that what I am is evil?”<br/>
“I don’t believe that.” I said, stubborn with anger.<br/>
“You should. I could kill you.”<br/>
“But you won’t. And you’re hurt.”<br/>
“I will heal. Knife wounds mean nothing to me anymore.”<br/>
“What the hell are you taking about, Damien?!”<br/>
“I am not Damien! Damien and Celine no longer exist. Their light has been extinguished and all that remains…” he seemed to lose strength, his voice going back to normal and the ringing again subsiding. “Is Dark.”<br/>
“The dark?” I shook my head. “What dark? What are you talking about?”<br/>
He stared at me, seeming to choose his words carefully. “Not THE dark. Dark. It’s my name. All that I have become.”<br/>
He dropped my hand, grabbing for his side, face distorted in agony.<br/>
“You’re delusional.” I said. “You’ve lost a lot of blood. Let me help you.”<br/>
I brushed away my tears, professionalism taking over.<br/>
Still on his knees, he listed sideways, trying to catch himself and failing. He fell over onto his side, staring at me.<br/>
“Why is the damn thing not healing?” He grunted.<br/>
“Because,” I said, peeling back his jacket, “That’s not how the human body functions.”<br/>
He snorted. “But it is how mine functions. Or it’s supposed to.”<br/>
“Sure. Now lie still.”<br/>
“I only require rest.” He grunted. “Please.”<br/>
“And I only require some damn answers. You can sleep in my apartment, but I get more than angry threats and vague hints if you live through the night. Deal?”<br/>
“I can’t be what you want me to be.” He said, voice sad.<br/>
I stopped, my fingers hovering over his wound. “What does that mean?”<br/>
“Whether you choose to believe it or not, I’m a monster. A demon. I am no longer the kind hearted mayor you said goodbye to all those years ago.”<br/>
I sniffled, shaking my head. “We all change. I’ve changed. It happens.”<br/>
I stood. “Can you make it to the couch? I’ll clean that up and bandage it at least before you sleep.”<br/>
He stared up at me. “Your kindness is for the one you loved. Not the one you see. If you do this, I fear you’ll regret it.”<br/>
“My whole life is one big regret. But I’m not gonna let you bleed to death on my floor.”<br/>
He stood awkwardly and paused, looking back at me before walking away.<br/>
I stepped back and turned the deadbolt, locking us in. </p>
<p>He stumbled to the couch and collapsed, only half conscious but watching my every move with clouded eyes.<br/>
I removed my own jacket and threw it over the chair in the kitchen before rushing into the bathroom, grabbing gauze, alcohol and the first aid kit along with a needle and thread.<br/>
I dropped them on the coffee table and knelt beside him, tears prickling my eyes.<br/>
His own eyes were now closed, his breathing shallow and his face drawn in pain.<br/>
Reaching my hand up, I slowly brushed his hair back from his face. His black eyes shot open. “Don’t do that.” He growled.<br/>
“It was habit.”<br/>
“I told you, I’m no longer someone you wish to know, much less love.”<br/>
“Then you do know me. By more than just my ring.”<br/>
“Memories are… different… for me. And it took seeing that ring to awaken them, but yes. I remember you.”<br/>
“And yet, you feel nothing? And want me to do the same?”<br/>
I refused to look at him, busying myself with laying out the supplies I’d need and opening them.<br/>
“I never said I felt nothing.” He whispered. “But this cannot be repaired to what it was. I can see it in your eyes, a second chance. It’s all you wish for, it’s why you’re determined to help me, though I’ve warned you against it.”<br/>
“I need you to take your shirt and jacket off. This is gonna hurt.”<br/>
He raised up, slipping both pieces of clothing off his shoulders and grunting in pain.<br/>
I helped him pull the sleeves off and he laid back, bare chested.<br/>
Damien’s chest, albeit gray and pale looking, slightly more defined than it used to be, but still the same. I fought down the feelings that seeing him like this suddenly stirred in me.<br/>
I opened the bottle of alcohol and poured it over the gash as gently as I could, but still, he sucked in a breath, gripping the couch for support.<br/>
Wiping away the blood and cleaning the area, I could tell it wasn’t as deep nor as big as I had first thought.<br/>
Good. Not as many stitches.<br/>
As I reached for the needle and thread, he grabbed my wrist and stopped me.<br/>
“Just bandage it. It will heal.”<br/>
“If you move, it’ll bleed more. I need to sew you up.”<br/>
“A waste of time for you and energy for me. Please.”<br/>
Setting the needle aside since I hadn’t really wanted to do it anyway, I took several pads of gauze and covered his wound. Taking the bandage, I motioned for him to lean forward, which he did, our faces inches apart.<br/>
His eyes were once again deep brown, staring at me as I worked, my fingers smoothing the ribbon of gauze as I wrapped, feeling his still muscular back and chest beneath them.<br/>
“You miss him.” It wasn’t a question.<br/>
I nodded, not meeting his eyes. “Every day. For 5 years. It’s become a part of me at this point.”<br/>
“You could have moved on.”<br/>
“With his… your, ring on my finger? How? I had no closure. No answers. Nothing to cling to but hope and the desire to be a good enough detective to figure out what the hell happened.”<br/>
“There is no chance of any answers ever being found there. What happened is not something that layman cops can explain or deduce. You will never find what you seek, be at peace with that.”<br/>
I finished wrapping his chest but didn’t take my hands away and he didn’t protest.<br/>
His eyes danced across my face, now and then lingering on my lips and I had to fight back the urge to lean in closer to him.<br/>
I cleared my throat.<br/>
“I had basically given up anyway. Too much time had gone by and there was never really a case. No witnesses, at least none that came forward and no evidence.”<br/>
He laid his hand on mine, picking it up and kissing my fingers.<br/>
His lips were soft, cold to the touch and yet oddly warm.<br/>
Instantly, every nerve in my hand was on fire, desire hit me hard and every memory of Damien and our nights together came flooding back.<br/>
I pulled away, scared of my own emotions and the sudden realization that I didn’t even know who or what he really was.<br/>
“You should rest.” I blurted out.<br/>
He looked crestfallen. “I’m sorry. I was only trying to give you what I thought you wanted.”<br/>
“I don’t know what I want.” I awkwardly stood and wrapped my arms around myself, looking for a way out. Panicking.<br/>
“There’s water or juice in the kitchen if you get thirsty. I’ll be in the other room if you need anything. Goodnight Damien.”<br/>
I turned before he could say anything and locked myself in my room, sliding to the floor, sobbing.<br/>
All of my emotions that I had been hiding hit at once and I felt like I was being strangled in my own misery. I was drowning and never learned how to swim. I was burning alive with no water in sight. I was being impaled with no way to remove the spear.<br/>
Time had done absolutely nothing to make his sudden exit from my life any easier, but what I hadn’t counted on was how badly it would hurt when and if he reentered it.<br/>
Curling into a ball, I released all my pent up frustrations and cried, as quietly as I could, not wanting him to know how badly I was hurting right now.<br/>
Why did I care?<br/>
Why did I want to protect him?<br/>
He wasn’t anything like the man I’d let walk out of my life and yet… he was.<br/>
My attraction to him was just as strong as ever and I could still see, still feel, the heart of my Damien in there somewhere.<br/>
He had a tender side when he wasn’t angry and keeping me at arms length.<br/>
Why though?<br/>
What had made him what he was today? And what exactly was that? Was he even still human? My heart was heavy knowing I might never know and my mind ached from running scenarios through my head.<br/>
He said we could never understand what had happened at the mansion and that was something I could probably accept. His powers, the ringing, his skin color, all pointed to something I thought I would never be forced to acknowledge;<br/>
The supernatural.<br/>
I wanted to be terrified, shove him out the door and try to move on with my life but something stopped me.<br/>
Five years I had worn Damien’s ring in hopes he would come back and now, here he was.<br/>
Was I so naïve to believe he would come back the person he was? Could I really hold that against him and refuse contact because he was changed?<br/>
The memories and feelings that had washed over me when he kissed my hand had been undeniable and yet, I had ran.<br/>
He’s dangerous<br/>
But I love him.<br/>
He’s not the man you once loved<br/>
I deserve closure. Another chance. Another opportunity.<br/>
My heart hurt as I argued against my better judgment, fighting to make myself believe I could walk away from him.<br/>
He had warned me about getting close to him or helping him. Warned me that I would regret it. But he had turned around and offered me what I had wanted for so long; Damien’s kiss, his love, his passion.<br/>
I had felt it in those few seconds of intimate contact and knew that I was lost.<br/>
Why had he done it?<br/>
“I was only trying to give you what I thought you wanted.”<br/>
What had he meant by that? Was he trying to mock me?<br/>
I raised up, wiping my tears away with my hand.<br/>
No. It had seemed genuine. Sincere.<br/>
Standing, I walked to the mirror over my dresser and stared into it and a stranger stared back.<br/>
Someone who had made up her mind that she was going to do what felt right, regardless of a good or bad outcome.<br/>
Damien still existed, albeit changed from what he once was, but I was willing to try. For him. For us.<br/>
I looked down at my ring, glinting in the light.<br/>
“Dark. It’s my name. All that I have become.”<br/>
For so long my own mind had dwelled in darkness, but I had never embraced it. Never accepted that the new version of myself was a part of it.<br/>
Damien had done, either by choice or by force, what I had never been able to:<br/>
Figured out how to live with who and what I was.<br/>
I switched off the light and stared at the dim outline of myself in the mirror.<br/>
If you’re the Dark like you say, then I refuse to be a part of the Light. It’s time to break free and see what we really are.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I walked out of my bedroom the next morning to find Damien (Dark?) standing at the window in front of what used to be his desk. His hands were clasped military style behind his back, shoulders stiff and almost at attention. He seemed caught up in some thought, but still he turned when I approached.<br/>
“I apologize again about last night. I was out of line and I am sorry. I should have heeded my own warnings and kept you at a distance, for an icy shove would have done less damage than my attempt at compassion.”<br/>
He knew, then, how badly I had ached for him. How badly I’d wanted him.<br/>
I brushed his comment aside and instead addressed his injury, pointing vaguely to his side.<br/>
“If that still hurts, I have some Tylenol in the medicine cabinet. It won’t do much, but…”<br/>
“That won’t be necessary.”<br/>
He unbuttoned his jacket and it was then that I realized the blood was gone from both it and his shirt, no torn fabric in sight.<br/>
Opening his shirt, he showed me the now pristine area where the knife had sliced him.<br/>
“You see? No stitches.”<br/>
I stepped forward, brow furrowed as I unconsciously reached to touch his side.<br/>
“How exactly did you recover so fast and where were you hiding a new suit?”<br/>
He almost smirked, looking down at my hand hovering awkwardly inches from his skin. He took it in his own and laid it flat against his stomach.<br/>
I jerked back but he held me in place.<br/>
The fire tingle was back, creeping up my hands and arms, across my neck and into my cheeks as I realized how close we were standing and I didn’t have the excuse of tending to his injuries to hide behind.<br/>
I wanted to run but after my revelation of last night, I stood my ground.<br/>
“I told you, I would heal. I just required time. I’m not, as you would say, human. Not anymore.”<br/>
I swallowed. “But Damien…”<br/>
“Is dead. As is his sister.”<br/>
He saw my flash of grief and quickly added; “I’m sorry.”<br/>
“But you… you are Damien. I can feel it. I can tell. My heart would know you anywhere.”<br/>
“And your heart would be correct. I did take his visage, his memories, Celine’s as well, to an extent, along with their anger. Their pain. Their grief and mistrust. I am the darkest parts of both. The parts bent on revenge. On righting wrongs. The parts willing to sacrifice anything, even lives, to see him pay.”<br/>
I had slid my hand away from his side, but he held it, never taking his eyes off mine.<br/>
My idea last night had been to find Damien, feel him again, see him, be with him, one last time. Now? I wasn’t so sure.<br/>
“See who pay? What happened that night? Is William…?”<br/>
“Wil is…. alive. I assure you. Changed. Altered. But in much different ways than my own.”<br/>
My head spun. “So you? You’re both of them? Like, some weird ass science experiment gone wrong? Some Mary Shelley, monster mash bullshit?”<br/>
He raised one eyebrow and more than ever, he looked like the man I had loved. “Not exactly. But yes. I carry both their energies within me, for good or ill.”<br/>
“What about Mark? Did he…”<br/>
The apartment was suddenly filled with the same intense ringing I had heard last night, blue and red flickering against the walls, seeming to radiate from his form.<br/>
He jerked away from me, dropping my hand as his skin suddenly went ice cold and his eyes blackened.<br/>
Turning away with a snarl, he stared out the window, cracking his neck as if he was in pain.<br/>
Something about the mere mention of Damien’s friend had set him off in terrifying ways and I hesitated to even stay in the room.<br/>
But I had come this far and he hadn’t hurt me. That gave me confidence that he was trying his best to avoid any physical harm towards me or at least that was what I hoped.<br/>
“He deserves death.” He spoke finally, voice echoing around the small office space. “Final, irreparable death that not even he can sweet talk his way out of. No deals. No bargains. No magic. Only the Void and the crippling emptiness it holds to keep him company. No one to hear his pitiful mewlings as he begs for yet another chance at life. To see his “greatest performance” come to fruition. Let him cower at the weight of his own mistakes. Let him tremble in my presence as I stab at him with the seething and writhing anger of two wronged souls wielding retribution as a dagger.”<br/>
His hands clenched into fists.<br/>
“I will tear his life apart as he did mine. I will flay open the very fabric of his being and rip his miserable beating heart from his chest. He deserves the torment of a thousand torturers, so therefore, let him plead. Let him look me in the eye as I finally watch the life drain out of his own and see his insipid existence come to an end.”<br/>
I should have taken a step back right then, ran for the door even, but I didn’t.<br/>
His words were terrifying, his demeanor more so, but I had dealt with all manner of angry and hateful suspects during my time on the street and something about him showing this kind of emotion in front of me, this manner of venting, enamored me even more to him.<br/>
More than I already was.<br/>
I recalled Damien’s words so long ago involving Mark and I instantly knew that whatever had happened that night had been his fault and had somehow led to Damien’s replacement with the man standing in front of me.<br/>
Not saying anything, I made up my mind to throw all my chips on the table and let it all ride on black, as I did something I hadn’t done in five long years;<br/>
Walking up behind him, I slowly wrapped my arms around his waist, feeling him stiffen at my presence but he didn’t shove me away and his rage didn’t worsen.<br/>
Taking heart and ignoring the voice screaming “What are you doing???”, I laid my head between his shoulder blades, running my hand down his arm and taking his hand.<br/>
As our fingers interlaced, his skin was cool, but not cold and I could faintly hear his heartbeat echoing in my ear.<br/>
He was alive.<br/>
He was here, living and breathing, with me. Altered as he said, but here.<br/>
“Don’t.” He said softly.<br/>
“Why? Are you going to hurt me to get back at Mark?”<br/>
“Not intentionally. But irrationally, I make no guarantees. You heard what I just said.”<br/>
“I kinda had no choice. And yes, you’re big and bad and angry, you’re a whatever the hell you are and you can split your foes in half with just a thought. Blah blah blah. I’ve heard it before and it didn’t impress me any more then than it is right now.”<br/>
He gently squeezed my fingers, running his thumb over my hand in slow, methodical circles.<br/>
“Oh really?” He purred.<br/>
I trembled from his tone, hoping he didn’t notice, but Dark continued.<br/>
“Do you want him, darling. Or me?”<br/>
He turned, slipping his hand away from mine and facing me.<br/>
My breathing became ragged as I looked up at him. How did I answer that?<br/>
He took me by the shoulders, lifting one hand to cup my cheek. Against my will, I melted at his touch and pressed harder against his hand.<br/>
“Myself I can give you, but if you seek the company of the one you once loved, I fear that…” he tilted my chin up. “Is beyond even my reach.”<br/>
“Damien’s still a part of you.” I said, voice husky. “I can feel him. In more ways than one.”<br/>
I laid my hand on his chest, trailing a finger down the line of buttons and undoing his belt.<br/>
Dark smiled, his eyes flickering to black and then brown.<br/>
“Are you sure?”<br/>
“Sure of what?” I teased.<br/>
Dark tilted his head. “Darling, you’ve gone through every emotion humanly possible in the last hours you’ve been with me. I terrify you and rightfully so. I’ve warned you. I’ve pushed you away and yet your fixation with him keeps you coming back. Are you sure you’re ready to accept me for what I am, who I am? Are you sure you’re ready for what you’re begging for?”<br/>
For half a second, my mind mulled over what he was saying before my instincts took back control.<br/>
Pressing myself against him, my lips inches from his own, I whispered, “I’ve never been more ready for anything.”<br/>
Dark needed no further prompting as his lips slammed against mine, his hands running over my chest and down my hips, his fingers finding every part of me that Damien had once known, remembering our rhythm, our patterns, my weaknesses. My body ignited in response to his advances as I silently, yet hungrily asked for more.<br/>
Half pushing, half leading, Dark pressed me against the wall and only broke us apart long enough to tear my shirt over my head. I raised my arms, smirking at him as I watched his eyes, brown and soft like Damien’s, take in my half naked form.<br/>
“Do you remember?” I whispered.<br/>
His eyes darted up to meet mine as he unbuttoned his jacket and removed it, throwing it across the desk.<br/>
His fingers glided down the front of his shirt, deftly undoing each button, a hint of a smile playing on his lips.<br/>
“I’ll let you be the judge of that.”<br/>
Every inch of me ached to be closer to him, to feel him, even as he was now, I didn’t care.<br/>
Letting his shirt join the jacket, his lips connected again with mine as his hands brushed my breasts, lingering only a moment before dropping to play at the waistband of my pajamas.<br/>
I whimpered involuntarily, wanting his touch, my fingers caressing his chest and then his back, pulling him harder against me.<br/>
I felt him smile.<br/>
“Don’t be so impatient, my love.” He growled.<br/>
Hearing Damien’s pet name for me only increased my desire for more.<br/>
“Dark! I need you! Please.”<br/>
I arched against his hands, now holding my hips and no longer toying with my pants.<br/>
“Shhh. Patience.” A quiet laugh as he kissed my nose and and then my neck, biting and sucking  playfully, each thumb tracing my hip lines, teasing me into a frenzy.<br/>
I moaned even louder, making him raise his head. I took the advantage and kissed him roughly, shoving him backwards towards my room.<br/>
“Bed. Now.”<br/>
Dark smirked, but took my hand, leading me through the door and without notice, his mouth was on mine, hungrier than before, his hands weaving into my hair.<br/>
So many years and I still remembered the way he felt, the taste of his kiss. He’d tried to convince me that Damien was no longer a part of him, but he was wrong, I knew him in every touch, in every sensation, in everything he did.<br/>
He trailed kisses along my neckline, one hand dropping to the string at my waist and untying it, his fingers easing their way lower, gently feeling me as I moved against him.<br/>
“Dark!” I needed him. More of him. All of him.<br/>
He shoved me down onto the bed and I pulled him with me, my hand brushing against his pants and I knew then that he was wanting everything that I was.<br/>
He smiled, knowing what I’d done. “Don’t stop, my love. Do continue.”<br/>
I kissed him again, biting his ear and whispering; “Since you asked so nicely.”<br/>
I moved my hand, finding him more than ready for where we were headed. He moaned as my rhythm changed, my fingers becoming braver as I remembered what he liked.<br/>
His back arched in response and he bit his lip, eyes going closed.<br/>
“You haven’t changed as much as you’d like to think.” I purred.<br/>
I undid the button and slipped my hand in and lower as he moaned again, pressing against me.<br/>
“Now who’s impatient?”<br/>
His eyes opened, almost black with lust. “My turn.”<br/>
He stood suddenly, then leaned on his hands on either side of my face, kissing me again, down my neck and across my chest.<br/>
His tongue teased at one of my breasts, while his hand found the other.<br/>
I threw my head back, relishing the way he made me feel and forgetting how I’d missed him.<br/>
His hair was soft on my fingers as I curled my hands in it, squirming with sensation beneath him, wanting him to take more of who I was and own me, fully and completely.<br/>
He dropped lower, maintaining lip to skin contact as he went, sliding off the bed and dropping to his knees on the floor. I raised up on my elbows to watch him, my breathing heavy.<br/>
Sitting back on his heels, he pulled my pajamas off, one leg at a time, never breaking the eye contact we had made.<br/>
Down to my underwear, I suddenly felt awkward in his presence, so alike and yet so foreign as his gray skin reminded me.<br/>
Placing his hands on my hips, he leaned forward, looking up at me as he gently kissed my stomach and ran his tongue over my belly button.<br/>
Damn him!<br/>
“Oh god!” I moaned, all awkwardness alleviated from that one move.<br/>
Damien was the only man to know what he could do to me with that<br/>
“I told you I’d let you be the judge of whether I remembered or not.”<br/>
Hooking a finger under the waist of my panties, he pulled them off, kissing lower and lower, teasing and touching until nothing existed except me and the things he made me feel.<br/>
I was helpless in his presence, lost to his mastery and he knew it since all I could do was entwine my fingers in his black hair and call his name, begging for release.<br/>
His deep voice rumbled against me. “Don’t be shy, my darling. Come for me.”<br/>
That was enough to send me over the edge and I gasped, my body trembling in waves as he kept going, finally raising his head and licking his lips before he kissed along my thigh, smiling up at me.<br/>
Breathing heavily, I stared back, before taking his hands and pulling on them, silently asking him for a standing position.<br/>
He obliged and I dropped to the floor in front of him, undoing his zipper and feeling him press against my hand.<br/>
He raised my head with a finger. “This is about you, my love. You and you only. You don’t have to do this.”<br/>
His tone was sincere, but his body language betrayed how badly he wanted what I was offering.<br/>
Smiling wickedly, I jerked his pants down and leaned in, kissing him through the fabric of his underwear and he moaned loudly, gasping at my sudden action.<br/>
“Are you sure about that statement?”<br/>
I didn’t wait for an answer as I grabbed the waistband with my teeth and pulled them down, his scent and the memories it brought back hitting me hard and making me even more aroused.<br/>
“How badly do you want this?” I teased.<br/>
His eyes turned all but black as he looked down at me, desire evident in the flush that showed even in his grey complexion.<br/>
“Are you asking me to beg?” He purred.<br/>
I bit my lip, half smiling and raised an eyebrow. “Mmhmm.”<br/>
“Darling, I don’t ever beg for anything.”<br/>
I ran my hand up his thigh and deliberately brushed his length with my thumb as I did so, pleased when I felt him tremble.<br/>
“Oh. Too bad. I guess we’re done here. And I was only starting to have fun.”<br/>
“We’re far from done. One way or the other.” His voice was strained.<br/>
I gently kissed his tip and heard him gasp.<br/>
“I can continue. Seems like you want me to.”<br/>
Another kiss, this time with tongue and I felt him get harder, if that was possible, as he entwined a hand in my hair.<br/>
“I don’t recall you being this much of a tease before, my love.”<br/>
“It’s been a dry five years. I’ve had a lot of time to think about what all I want to do to you.” I ran my tongue all the way up to his stomach as he tried to speak through his distraction.<br/>
“And what…. Ah.” He broke off with a moan. “Did you have in mind?<br/>
“Is that your way of asking me to go on?” I stroked him slowly.<br/>
His eyes were closed as he tilted his head back, relishing my attention.<br/>
“God yes.”<br/>
I took him in my mouth as we fell into old patterns, him moving and me following before trading off and trying something new, all the while listening to his pleasured moans and his earnest begging as I coaxed him closer and closer, never letting up on my pace.<br/>
Dark stopped my movements suddenly, his breathing heavy and labored.<br/>
“What is it?” I asked.<br/>
“As much as I am sincerely enjoying your skill and dedication, I feel like our time would be better shared doing other things.”<br/>
“You want me to stop?”<br/>
“Before anything happens. Yes.” He smirked and touched my nose with one finger. “I want your enjoyment to be paramount to my own.<br/>
“Such a gentleman.” I said, letting him help me to my feet and kissing him deeply.<br/>
“A trait Damien never quite let me forget, I’m afraid.”<br/>
He scooped me up, carrying me bridal style to the side of the bed and laid me down, positioning himself over me as he ran his hand down my thigh and gently pushed my legs apart.<br/>
He kissed along my neck as his finger found its way to where I wanted him most and my body responded.<br/>
“Dark! Stop playing games for God’s sake!”<br/>
He laughed and sucked on my ear. “Don’t you know I’m a manipulative bastard?” His voice dropped even lower and I shivered from his breath warm on my neck.<br/>
“Let me manipulate.”<br/>
With one fluid motion, Dark moved his hand, seductively licking his finger before kissing me again as he finally entered me.<br/>
I gasped, it was blocked by his lips but I felt him growl and smile as he started up a rhythm and I fell into it with him.<br/>
So long I had wanted this and wanted Damien, every inch of him.<br/>
Our bodies rocked in unison as he showed me that he was still the man I loved. I wanted to give him that yes that I’d never gotten to, I wanted to give him someplace safe to come home to, I wanted to give him everything I’d promised Damien all those years ago when we’d first met.<br/>
My love, my time, my passion and my future.<br/>
But some part of me still had a niggling doubt. How would we make this work when he clearly was no longer human, or at least not completely.<br/>
I still had no idea what he was doing here or why he’d been injured.<br/>
What was his title now? His profession?<br/>
So many unanswered questions but I would ask them in due time, for now, I had other tasks to attend to.<br/>
“Oh my God, Dark! Yes!”<br/>
Everything crashed over me at once and I felt his own release a few moments later.<br/>
We rode it out together, both of us panting and out of breath as his hips slowed and he moved off of me, rolling away and pulling me in for a kiss.<br/>
I pulled back, tucking an arm under my head as I rolled onto my side, facing him.<br/>
His thumb caressed my jawline as he stared at me, black rimmed eyes still slightly clouded from lust and exertion.<br/>
“I don’t care what happened all those years ago.” I brushed his hair back. “I’m in love with you, still and no matter what you are, that’s not going to change. As long as some part of you holds a piece of Damien, I’m not afraid.”<br/>
“It can’t be what it was.” His reply was somber.<br/>
“I’m willing to try. Are you saying you’re not?”<br/>
“I’m saying that existence is different for me now. While I may be able to enjoy pleasures of the flesh, as you’ve just witnessed and partake in things that make me appear normal, I am by no means “normal” in any form. We can try a life together, we can attempt to reconcile what you and Damien started all that time ago, but I can make you no promises on how long it could last or how often I would be able to be here for you. My life is not as simple as it once used to be. I have obligations to attend to, many of them. I have people within my care you could say that are high maintenance at the best of times and they are not always capable of managing in my stead.”<br/>
I frowned. “People? Damien ran an office, a city, full of people. I lived with it then, I’ll manage now.”<br/>
A low chuckle. “This is not quite the same as then, my love. The people I have under my watch are opinionated, Egotistical, unruly and unsafe if left for long.”<br/>
“They sound like children. Do you run a damn orphanage?”<br/>
“Of a sort. They are indeed unwanted and many of them have been forgotten completely and while they do test my patience to the max, it is sadly now my job to maintain their welfare and what little remains of their sanity although some appear to have never had it to begin with. Not surprising, given our roots.”<br/>
His eyes flashed black.<br/>
“Wait. Your roots? Are you saying Damien had siblings besides Celine?”<br/>
“No. He did not.”<br/>
“But then..”<br/>
“I would prefer not to discuss this with you right now and ruin the mood we’ve been working on for so long.”<br/>
Placing his hand on the back of my head, he pulled me in and kissed me long and slow and I let the subject drop. For now.<br/>
We had time and one day, he would tell me just who he had become.<br/>
“Fair enough. But you owe me some answers, whatever ends up happening, ok?”<br/>
I rested my head against his chest and sighed, his scent and presence making me drowsy even though it was barely mid morning.<br/>
“You’ll receive all the answers I can provide in due time, my love, but I fear you may not like all of them.”<br/>
“Mmmm,” I mumbled, drifting off.<br/>
The last thing I remembered was Dark kissing the top of my head and saying something about going back to sleep. </p>
<p>I woke up to the sound of rain and an empty bed. My mind panicked for a second as I looked frantically around the apartment fearing it had all been some horrible dream and he was gone again.<br/>
My heart nearly stopped when I spotted his jacket still lying haphazardly over the chair where he had tossed it in our rush to undress this morning.<br/>
Breathing out a sigh, I threw the covers back and stepped out of bed, grabbing a tee shirt and throwing it on. The chill in the air made me crave a fire and a warm cup of tea but I settled for turning up the thermostat and going in search of my missed coffee, regardless of the time of day.<br/>
Walking out of the bedroom, the first thing I spotted was Dark, standing by the window in front of his desk, still shirtless, but wearing a comfy looking pair of sweatpants and holding a steaming coffee mug as he stared quietly out at the rain.<br/>
He looked lost, his mind somewhere besides the here and now.<br/>
His skin almost matched the dreary drizzle outside, making the scene even more melancholy.<br/>
I walked up to him and he turned, a small smile on his lips as he wrapped one arm around me and pulled me closer, kissing my forehead.<br/>
“How did you sleep?”<br/>
“It was nice. It’s been a long time since I had a morning nap.”<br/>
“I do believe you earned a respite after your performance.” Another smile.<br/>
“Me? I barely did anything. How long did you nap? What time is it?”<br/>
“A little after 11. We did get an early start after all. And no, I didn’t sleep.”<br/>
“After all that?” I wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed his shoulder. “You had to have dozed a little.”<br/>
“On the contrary, I am quite capable of going long periods with little to no sleep and if you’d like, I am more than willing to allow you round two. Give you a chance to ‘do more’ as you say.”<br/>
“As tempting as that sounds and I’m not saying no, I really just need coffee right now.”<br/>
“As you wish.”<br/>
“Don’t sound so disappointed,” I said as I moved into the kitchen and reached for a mug and opened the fridge for cream. “What were you thinking about as I walked in? You seemed so sad.”<br/>
He walked over, refilling his own cup with black liquid and sipped it cautiously.<br/>
Damien hated black coffee, preferring instead to have it doused with cream and buried with sugar.<br/>
“Your tastes have changed.” I said, motioning to the cup.<br/>
“What? Oh the coffee.” He set it on the counter and nodded. “They have. I find that my tolerance for sweet things has diminished greatly.”<br/>
He took my own mug out of my hand and stole the cream out of the other, adding a precise amount before reaching around me, our faces inches apart, a wicked smile on his lips as he brought out the bottle of Irish Cream I kept hidden in the crisper.<br/>
He removed the lid and splashed a shot in with the cream and filled it full of hot coffee before handing it to me.<br/>
A drop of the liqueur had splashed out, running down the side and onto my finger. I started to wipe it away but Dark beat me to it, holding my hand and the mug as he licked up the droplets and subsequently my fingers.<br/>
“However, I know exactly how you take your coffee and you are one sweet thing I can more than tolerate.”<br/>
I stared at him as I took a sip and realized it was perfect, the ratio of alcohol to coffee was indescribable.<br/>
“Thank you.” I said softly.<br/>
I was both in awe that he had remembered how I liked it and aroused at his showing off.<br/>
“You still have Damien’s cheesy lines though.”<br/>
“Judging by the look on your face and the flush on your cheeks and chest, I’d say they worked, wouldn’t you?”<br/>
I nodded as I took another sip. “They did. You don’t want to know what I’m thinking about doing right now.”<br/>
He picked up his own cup again, watching me over the rim.<br/>
“Or maybe you do want to know.”<br/>
One eyebrow shot up.<br/>
I laughed. “But you avoided my earlier question, so I’m gonna avoiding telling you.”<br/>
“What question is that?”<br/>
“I asked what you were thinking about when I walked in. You looked sad.”<br/>
“Sad? No. I don’t possess that ability anymore. Anger, revenge, hatred, lust, envy, pain, those I still maintain but the better qualities of human interaction? I’m afraid not.”<br/>
I put my cup down and crossed my arms. “Not true. Stop evading.”<br/>
“I’m not.”<br/>
“You are. You showed regret and heartbreak last night when you saw my ring. You showed sadness when you realized fully who I was and that you could have hurt me. You showed love this morning in more ways than just having sex. Fixing my coffee, your little kisses across my hand, a peck on the forehead. Those aren’t lesser quality traits. Stop trying to be Mr. Big and Bad.”<br/>
He blinked and cracked his neck and the blue and red flashed momentarily. I had forgotten about that.<br/>
“How did you hurt your neck?” I asked without thinking.<br/>
“A long story.”<br/>
“And the…” I waved my hand vaguely towards him. “Flashing?”<br/>
“Also part of a long story and even more difficult to explain.”<br/>
I sat my cup down and took a seat at the table, motioning him to do the same. “Spill it.”<br/>
“It’s not a normal series of events. You wouldn’t  understand.”<br/>
“I just slept with a guy with better makeup than me, gray skin and SFX lights following him around, who can magically heal and craft a new suit overnight, plus suddenly have casual sweatpants to wear even though he doesn’t have any kind of luggage with him. I think I can handle everything else just fine.”<br/>
He cocked his head, smirking.<br/>
“Plus, he somehow simultaneously is and isn’t my ex fiancé who may or may not be dead.”<br/>
“Is.”<br/>
“Excuse me?’<br/>
“He is dead.”<br/>
I felt a small piece of my heart break even though he was right in front of me.<br/>
“Ok. Start there. How did you… how did Damien…” I swallowed. “Die?”<br/>
Dark raised the cup to his lips but didn’t drink. “He was murdered.”<br/>
The tone of voice he had when he said it made me expect a crack of thunder and a flash of lightning but there was nothing except the patter of rain.<br/>
“So was Celine.”<br/>
“Was it a B&amp;E gone wrong or what?’<br/>
“I’m sorry?”<br/>
“My bad. Breaking and entering. Was Mar… sorry. The mansion robbed?”<br/>
“No. It was planned. All of it. From the inside.”<br/>
“William?”<br/>
“No. He was a victim as well or more accurately, a pawn.”<br/>
“Go on then. I want all of it.”<br/>
“Did you ever consider that maybe I don’t want to tell you because I don’t want to revisit it?”<br/>
His words were strained.<br/>
“Nothing good was allowed past that night. Destruction and creation were both present but it’s not a story worth telling. Not that it ever stopped him.”<br/>
He spat the last word and his face contorted with anger, aura flashing.<br/>
“He told it to the damn world and now he mocks me with it. Using me as leverage to gain what he can’t. Fame and followers.”<br/>
“You’ve lost me. Are you talking about…”<br/>
“Mark. Yes.”<br/>
“Damien’s friend?”<br/>
“In another life, another timeline, another existence. Yes.”<br/>
“Followers? What is he? A cultist?”<br/>
Dark laughed. “You could say that. He might as well be. In fact, he’s already started one a couple of times in ‘harmless’ fun.”<br/>
He looked around and back to me. “Do you have a phone or a computer?”<br/>
“Both. Why?”<br/>
“Go to YouTube.”<br/>
“What? Why?”<br/>
“It will be easier and I can just fill you in in places.”<br/>
I walked to the living room where my laptop bag was tucked under the couch.<br/>
Bringing it back to him , I opened it and typed in the website.<br/>
“What do I search?”<br/>
Dark took it from me and quickly typed something in the search box. Melancholic music played from the speakers.<br/>
“Watch.”<br/>
He turned away and walked back to the window, refusing to have anymore to do with what I was seeing.<br/>
My heart pounded as I watched a few people onscreen and…no.<br/>
I slammed my laptop shut.<br/>
I couldn’t breathe, my chest was too tight, I couldn’t draw in air.<br/>
“You wanted answers, my love. It’s alright. Take a breath. I know you can.”<br/>
Dark was kneeling in front of me, his hand on my cheek, but he was blurry, I could barely see him.<br/>
“What is that?!” I half screamed, fighting to control my hyperventilating.<br/>
“Breathe. It’s a video. Obviously. A series, to be exact. Of that night.”<br/>
“Damien!”<br/>
“I know. Yes, he’s there. Along with Celine and William and also Damien’s new and short lived DA.”<br/>
“They died too?”<br/>
“They did. They’re the reason I exist.”<br/>
“What?!”<br/>
“That’s why I was having you watch. It will make more sense.”<br/>
“I can’t. Dark. I can’t. He’s there. You’re there.”<br/>
“That’s not me, my love. Not till much later.”<br/>
“William! Why did he look, why was his face…?”<br/>
Having never met any of Damien’s friends, I was confused.<br/>
“What?”<br/>
“He looks like you. Like Damien. Only dressed differently.”<br/>
“Of course. They all do. Watch. I’ll stay beside you if that will help, though I do not wish to.”<br/>
I was on the verge of tears. “Stay. Please.”<br/>
“Very well.”<br/>
He opened the laptop and I gripped his hand, scared of him disappearing as the events of that night that I’d so longed to know played out.<br/>
I was pale and shaking by the end of it, as Dark gently closed the computer and sighed.<br/>
“My backstory. That night. Now you know what I am.”<br/>
I shook my head, shock rendering me speechless. “You… you’re not… Damien. Are you?”<br/>
“No. As I tried to tell you.”<br/>
“As I said last night, I took his resemblance as my own and I carry he and his sister’s memories and personalities but I’m not the mayor.”<br/>
“You’re the demon?”<br/>
“A rough term. Entity would be more accurate.”<br/>
“Where the hell did this come from and why for fuck’s sake do you all look alike?”<br/>
Dark sighed. “Your second question, I cannot answer. But the first, Mark made it. Posted it to his channel. The conniving, theatrical, over the top little prick thought it was a good idea to release it to the public.”<br/>
He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to his chest. “You wanted the truth, my darling. Promised me you could handle it. Now here it is, in all it’s horrible glory, laid out before you. What will you do? Do you still love me? Still desire me as you did only an hour ago? Does this change nothing, as you said earlier in the afterglow of our moment together? Or will you ask me to leave, remove me from your life and never look back?”<br/>
I sobbed, gripping him tighter as indecision and fear wracked my whole body.<br/>
The truth of what he really was stung, the truth about Damien more so, but the unbelievability of it all was what plagued me. This made no sense. It couldn’t.<br/>
No matter how I twisted it, turned it or spun it around, it didn’t fit in my realm of possible.<br/>
I was a cop. Trained in the art of the real world. This was on another level of crazy that no crackhead could ever dream up in his wildest trip.<br/>
“Are you trying to push me away?” I whispered.<br/>
He stroked my hair. “No. Not now. I’m only doing what you asked and that’s showing you what happened.”<br/>
I had asked for this. Asked him to tell me. “I need you to tell me. In your own words. I need to hear it broken down, by you. Please.”<br/>
His eyes turned black, his skin going cold as he let me pull away to look at him.<br/>
“If it will give you some amount of closure, then I will try my best.”<br/>
Hours ticked by as he begrudgingly told me and retold me in his own time about that night, me stopping him now and then to ask a question or have something clarified.<br/>
As he spoke, his words and the sound of his voice soothed me and I began to calm down, enough that I started absorbing what I was seeing and hearing instead of deflecting everything to the default of “this can’t be real!”.<br/>
“You can walk away. You hold no ties to me or the travesty that has become my life.” Dark said after a few moments had passed and he had finished.<br/>
I held up my left hand. “What do you call this?”<br/>
“A ring. That I did not give you.”<br/>
“Yes you did. In a roundabout way.”<br/>
“Remembering and actually doing are two very different things.”<br/>
I bit my lip. He wasn’t wrong and part of me did want to run from the knowledge I now possessed but I couldn’t leave him.<br/>
He watched my every move, his eyes locked on my face, seeking for any signs of what I was about to say, what my thoughts were, where I would choose to go from here.<br/>
He tried to look so casual and unbothered, but I could tell that reliving that night had gotten to him and the thought of losing me more so.<br/>
Underneath the outer bravado, he looked so scared, like a little boy terrified of being overlooked at the orphanage.<br/>
His brown eyes were pleading in the silence, wanting me to accept him for what he was but understanding if I couldn’t.<br/>
“Ok.” I said finally and he blinked, waiting for me to continue.<br/>
“If you’re not really Damien, but he’s still part of you, which I can tell he is, then we need to get to know each other again.”<br/>
“And you have something in mind better than our rendezvous this morning?”<br/>
“More rendezvous for starters.” I smiled. “But we need to just exist in each other’s space , you know? Just be.”<br/>
Dark tapped the side of his cup with his fingers, one arm thrown over the back of the chair. “Then, you actually want to try? You aren’t appalled at what happened?”<br/>
“I am. I’m disgusted and heartbroken over what they did to my Damien. I wanted a future with him, the opportunity to love him until my dying breath, but...” I choked on the words, tears slowly running down my cheeks. “I guess he just got there before me.”<br/>
I looked down at my hands folded on the table, the light glinting off my ring as a tear dropped onto the table, shining just as bright as any diamond.<br/>
The contrast that both could reflect such light struck me deeply. Happiness and pain, give and take, my life was a panicked mixture of them both.<br/>
Dark’s hand covered mine and I looked over to see him kneeling beside me, his other hand gently brushing away a tear from my cheek.<br/>
“He still loves you. That never stopped. You were his only and last thought.”<br/>
I started crying, allowing the tears to flow freely. “It hurts so much.”<br/>
He pulled me over to him, slipping me off the kitchen chair and onto the floor where he held me to his chest, rocking me like a child.<br/>
“I never got to say goodbye. What if he didn’t know? What if he never knew how much I loved him? What if I could have been there and done something? I hate this! I hate me! I should have helped him!”<br/>
Five years of pain and guilt that I had held back finally burst out and I was almost screaming.<br/>
Wracking, inconsolable sobs making my chest burn as I clung to him.<br/>
“It’s alright, my love. He knows. I know. There would have been nothing for you there that night except your own death.” He stroked my hair, shushing me quietly.<br/>
“Maybe that would have been better.” I hiccuped.<br/>
“You don’t mean that. Where would this city be without it’s best detective?”<br/>
“Best, my ass.”<br/>
“You found me, didn’t you?”<br/>
“You didn’t want to be found, remember? You tried to kill me.”<br/>
He laughed lightly, “Not kill. Just deter. I promise.”<br/>
I sniffled, wiping absently at my nose. “I’m a frickin’ mess. I’m sorry.”<br/>
“You have nothing to apologize for. Your outpouring of emotion is more than valid in this situation.”<br/>
“You don’t need to see me with snot running down my face.”<br/>
“There’s more appalling things that I’ve witnessed. Things far more disturbing than a runny nose.”<br/>
I halfheartedly smiled.<br/>
“That’s why I love you.”<br/>
I covered my mouth with my hand as Dark blinked, cocking his head to the side like a puppy.<br/>
“I didn’t mean to say that. I’m sorry. I forgot for a minute that….”<br/>
He stopped me with a deep kiss, pulling me closer and taking my breath away.<br/>
When he pulled back, there was a warmth I’d never seen in his eyes.<br/>
“Does that mean you accept what I am? And more importantly, can you continue to accept it?”<br/>
“I think I accepted it as soon as I helped you to my car last night.”<br/>
He stood, helping me to my feet and wiping more tears away.<br/>
“It still hurts and it probably always will. Damien was my soulmate, my rock. When that was torn away… I’ve been so lost.”<br/>
A sudden realization swept over me as I remembered something Damien had said that night.<br/>
“My ring…”<br/>
“What about it?”<br/>
“Something he said. When he was proposing. He wanted this ring to be his way back to me. His ‘guiding light when he’s trapped in the dark’ was how he put it.”<br/>
“A light to the Dark, capital D?” Dark smirked.<br/>
“Maybe so. Who knows. Maybe he knew all along that something bad was going to happen and he wanted me to have some sort of hope.”<br/>
“Possibly. I don’t recall. Much of that night is blacked out in Damien’s memories and I don’t have the ability to remember them. Not as he did.”<br/>
He took my hand, drawing me to him once more and I stared up at him. “Is he in there at all? Somewhere?”<br/>
Dark rested his chin on the top of my head. “He is. He’s happy for you. A strange emotion, but one I’m not opposed to. At least, away from the public.”<br/>
I thought back to my realizations from the night before and it occurred to me that I was wrong; I wasn’t a part of the dark. Like yin and yang, my life had been a mixture of night and day, love and hate, teaching and learning.<br/>
No, I wasn’t a part of the dark, but Dark was a part of me.<br/>
His lips brushed mine, softly at first and then deeper, more hungry.<br/>
He took my left hand in his and pushed me back against the wall, kissing my neck and letting me draw in a shaky breath.<br/>
He stopped and pressed his lips to my hand, smiling at me.<br/>
“I believe you’ve been waiting a long time to finally change that into a proper engagement ring, have you not?”<br/>
My heart pounded in my chest, it echoed around my head until I couldn’t hear.<br/>
My moment of silence worried him. “As I told you, I don’t know how often I will be able to properly be here with you. My other obligations pull me away so often against my will, but I will always be there if you need me.”<br/>
“It’s not that.” I laughed. “I was just in shock that I finally get to complete this chapter that I’ve been working on for so long.”<br/>
“And how does the book end? I don’t really care about the chapter. Chapters mean nothing if the ending isn’t satisfying.” He kissed my nose.<br/>
“It ends with me wanting to meet all these ‘obligations’ of yours, although I believe we normal people call them ‘family’. And…”<br/>
He shook his head. “You don’t want to meet them. Trust me.”<br/>
“Yes I do. I want to know exactly why you all look alike and why you say William is so changed. He suffered greatly but I want to see how he’s recovered. All of it. I want you, Dark. All of you and all that you’ve become.”<br/>
“You’re sure?”<br/>
“I’m positive. My past hurts like hell, so I’m hoping my future is happier.”<br/>
“And this?” He ran his thumb across my ring.<br/>
“The answer is yes.”<br/>
Five years of waiting to say that word and it was done. Tears ran down my cheeks once again, as Dark pressed his lips to mine, his fingers tangling in my hair and his body conveying all that he and subsequently Damien was feeling, leaving no space between us.<br/>
The darkness, it turned out, had irrevocably embraced me and who was I to try to keep it at bay?<br/>
I smiled against his kiss, pulling him tighter to me.<br/>
The rain poured louder than before, its pattering on the roof reaching a deafening crescendo as we moved from the kitchen to the living room and finally ended up back in the bedroom, Dark and I reconnecting old memories and lost feelings even more than we had earlier.<br/>
Lying in his arms afterwards, I felt safe, at home, at peace. I belonged here, with him, in whatever form he chose to take.<br/>
Damien was never really gone, he lived on in this misunderstood entity that had chosen to enter my life.<br/>
I had more questions, more doubts about what exactly happened and who Mark really was, but they could wait.<br/>
Darkness was an old friend, but I would no longer walk its path alone.<br/>
I refused to.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>